Chad

While I could go into more detail, I worry that I might share too much detail here. I’m not going to get super graphic, but maybe more than what you expected. For the most part I’m going to try to use pretty tame language. It’s hard for me to know what you are and are not comfortable with, but I’m going to assume that anyone who continues to read this is a mature adult who understands sexuality.

I’ve made covenants with God to keep the law of Chastity – specifically, not to have any sexual relations with anyone other than my wife once married. Different people might interpret what “sexual relations” means. I’ve observed that some believe it to only include something that could result in a baby. On the other hand, a romantic peck on the cheek is in some ways sexual. My interpretation of “sexual relations” in the context of the covenant I’ve made is that viewing or handling the private parts of a body, or using the private parts of a body to “feel” another’s body. That description is probably not all-encompassing, but it should give you a good idea of where the lines are.

If breaking the law of chastity is compared to falling off a cliff, there should be fences put up while dating to guard against falling. I think where those fences get placed should be determined by each couple in counsel with God. I am male, and like most males, I have a strong desire for sex and I find female bodies very attractive and tempting. For myself, I need some good strong fences, and I want a girlfriend who wants to help me maintain the fences I need in place, and may have some of her own that I should support.

While my natural man wants some things, it’s much more important for me to stay away from breaking the law of chastity, so I want fences in place. To be more clear:

Things I feel would be "falling off the cliff" (breaking the law of chastity)

• Anything that leads to an orgasm
• Touching the other person’s reproductive parts (or women’s breasts), even clothed

Fences I want in place while dating (not an exclusive list):

• No Flashing
• No making out horizontally
• No sexting
• No "fashion shows" of underwear, intimate clothing, or bikinis
• Wear modest clothing - for women, that includes not wearing super tight shirts. I’ve got a good imagination, and I don’t want it going down that path.

I need to keep my covenants and I want to help any girl I’m dating keep hers. After marriage, I look forward to a happy, healthy, and (dare I say?) spicy sexual relationship with my wife.